Friday, December 31, 2004

When I fall in love......... (lyrics)

Suddenly was thinking about someone. Haven't seen her online for quite a few days coz of my crazy sleeping pattern, and this song came into my mind. Maybe it's something I wanna tell her?

Maybe I'm old fashioned feeling as I do.
Maybe I'm just living in the past,
But when I meet the right one, I know I'll be true.
My first love will be my last.

When I fall in love
It will be forever.
For I'll never fall in love
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it's begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun.

When I give my heart
It will be completely.
For I'll never give my heart.
And the moment I can fell that you fell that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

'1st' day in office

Back to work yesterday. Got a nasty shock when I was told I couldn't cover my mc using hospitalisation leave and so was considered no pay leave! Gosh...... I'll be broke in January..... looks like I got to cash out my ERS earlier than expected. Oh well, too bad.....
Think my knee recovery not very good. It was so painful at the end of my working day. Fell asleep after dinner again, dunno coz my knee need to recover or my biological clock is still upside down. Now awake in the middle of the night again, hope I won't think too much like last night. Got a meeting at 10am later. Heard I will be 'sabotage' to do the employees performance evaluation as I'm still quite neutral at the moment. But think of it, if I really do this evaluation fairly, I may get into the black book of some of the employees.... Oh well, no point worrying now. If I'm assigned, then I'll think about it.
Anyway, '1st' day in office then I felt a bit out of place already. Didn't sit at my usual place at the 2nd floor office, but instead spent most of my time sitting at the QA office. Maybe it feels better there coz got radio on, wherelse it's so quiet at the 2nd floor office.
Actually still got 2 weeks mc, but think I'll go to work most of the time as I'll need the money, can't afford to take NPL....

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

awake in the middle of the night, thinking away.....

Fell asleep last night at around 8.15pm after dinner, and woke up at 1.39am..... Had missed sleep yesterday morning so I could sleep early last night and wake up fresh for work, but in the end slept too early and woke up too early.... Was laying in bed just now thinking of some things. Suddenly thought of a very old toy I used to play when I was very young....
When I was about 3 or 4 years old, everytime when I go to central with my mum, I'll see an elderly guy selling canes with about 5 bells(those type enclosed in a plastic 'cage') attached to them. The sticks will be decorated with foil paper. I'll get my mum to buy and when I reach home, I'll normally slowly unwrap the foil paper coil around the cane and just take the whole thing apart. Thinking of it, there's a sadness in my heart, dunno why... Maybe think it was such a waste, my family wasn't that well-off last time. Maybe I miss that ah-pek? Or maybe I miss those time when I was young, when life was simple with no worries...
Oh well, no answer to that, so next topic. Took out my x'mas gift exchange present to have another look. It's a clock, with a number '8' black pool ball as the base, and a clear lcd attached to the top. Just amazing how technology advance. Numbers just appear in the middle of the clear lcd. Pretty interesting.
Haha, I hate laying in bed at night and not able to fall asleep. I'll think of a lot of things. Just now also thought of a girl I met in school. She was the 1st person that really got my attention when I 1st join 'that' school. It was orientation day and she came a bit late, and smiled at me and ask if she could sit down beside me as she joins the group. She had the sweetest and friendliest smile, and that brightens up my 1st day in school. Saw her with her bf the other day, they seems to be getting on very well. Oh well, just another one of those girls I was attracted to and did not get to know better. I'm used to it already. I'm still not getting my 1st gf, and hopefully life partner ;-) I've always wish that my 1st gf will become my life partner, and live happily with her till the very last day. Perhaps it's this dream that I want to fulfill, resulting in me not getting attached so far.
Oh well, go rest my eyes for a while more, will be back to work in another 1 and a half hour...

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

'Last' day of mc.......

Just came back from the hospital for the follow-up of my knee surgery. By right today my last day of mc, but doctor decide to give me 2 more weeks. Dunno happy or sad. Happy coz can relax, sad coz relax too much become slack..... become worm liao...... But think I'll go to work from tomorrow, and stay home if my knee cannot take it. This 2 weeks take it easy 1st, since I haven't really test how far my 're-born' knee can endure.

Saw the news this morning, casualties for tidal waves goes over 22,000....... and more expected to come...... this is so saddening....... millions lost their homes............... Sent an email to a mailing list(Gundam related of coz) I'm subscribed to and ask them to make donation to their local Red Cross. Hope they'll spread the word around and pull everyone across the world together and help out.

Monday, December 27, 2004

my 1st blog.......

A sad day to start with...... heard the news of the quake...... saw footages on news........ it was terrible......... seeing the deaths figures reminds me that life is very fragile and it may be taken away from me anytime, with or without warning..... but I rather it be taken away so suddenly that no one have time to see me slowly fade away and be sad, as I had experience when my grandma fade away slightly a year ago...... It was a period of sad memories, almost 6months, that still bring tears to me when I think about those times.. :""(

Had a pretty boring x'mas. Din went out to Orchard to feel the mood coz of my leg, and almost no celebration at all other than the Ares bbq. Am really glad that Junkang took the effort to organise this event, and sending me home late at 1.30am. Gotta thank him, but being the withdrawn me, din do it personally again. It's been a really long time since I had this kind of late outing, and I just thought it may be the last one in a long time to come as soon, everyone will be graduating and busy with their working lives.

Although had plans to date someone out on x'mas or the eve, but in the end nothing materialise again.......