Don't understand me, coz I don't even understand myself.

Thought of a 'lost' person:

As I was going through my physio session yesterday, I was on the treadmail doing my brisk walk. The speed was originally set at 5.5, and maybe it look too easy for me, so the therapist set it higher to 6.0. I was on the stepper before I came onto the treadmail, and the stepper was just placed behind the treadmail. I had noticed a guy jogging at 6.5, and there I was, walking at 6.0. I challenged myself, and increase the speed to 6.5, and there I was, still brisk walking away.... I think I like to exercise.... but it seems that I never do exercise... I remember myself saying to myself during BMT during one of the runs that I like to run, and when I was posted to the RSAF, I had on another occasion on the treadmail told myself that I like to exercise, and now here again in TTSH Physio Centre, I feel that I actually like to exercise. Soooooo contradicting..... a person who likes to exercise but doesn't exercise? So do I like to exercise, or do I not? Yes, it feels great. No, I'm lazy, or maybe I haven't found a workout partner. Dunno.... that's just so me, not having a answer to a question on myself.

After the session, I took the mrt. In the train, I was surrounded by the smartly-dressed working class. Wasn't that what I was aiming to do all along? Graduate with a degree, and with smart office wear on me, working in some financial institution in the CBD? So why am I in jeans and tee now, working in a industrial estate? Wasn't I aiming to become a high flyer with a big paycheck in some prestigious FI? So what am I doing in a tiny factory, with which I have nowhere to put my financial knowledge to use? Responsibility I guess..... someone to help carry on this family biz. Although my elder cousin is in there, I think it'll be hard for him alone to manage the inside and outside of the company. But I would also call it self-imposed responsibility, no one ever call me to go in and help. I never understood a couple of years ago when a friend gave up her Diploma in Banking to go into special education, and now here I am, 'giving up' my Bachalor in Banking and Finance to go into a oil manufacturing factory.

I may never understand myself... but I know that whatever happens, it happens for a reason. I'll just wait and see if i'll ever grasp the reason.

'Promotion'

so long no update liao....... this week really kinda nothing happen, just the same eat-work-sleep only.....

Caught the really crappy Kungfu Hustle with a good friend on tues. Won the tiks in a Ch 8 contest. Only send in 1 sms at 3am a few weeks ago and I won, really lucky. Before the show we went for dinner. As we were sitting there eating n chatting, she ask me why I never get attached. I think I'm not ready to settle down as I have nothing(as in career, money, etc)yet. Read somewhere that when 2 person falls in love, the gal will produce a kind of 'like' hormone in her brain. This is the hormone that makes people feel they are in love. But sadly, these hormones only live for about 30months. That's why we see many couples breaking up after 2-3years.

Also, for me, I prefer to start off as friends, den slowly become good friend, den best friend, den maybe gf. I rather build up the relationship slowly, getting to know her really well before I take the plunge. No point liking someone before you really know her, in the end to know her true character and decide she's not the one. I dun wan to waste time and effort on a relationship that will end nowhere. If I get in and out of relationships too frequent, I'm afraid that when the real one comes, the feeling will be numb already.

So, with this 2 reason, my conclusion is that I will probably get married with 2 years of promoting her from my best fren to gf, although I dun know how long it will take for someone to go from fren to best fren. Sadly, now only got 2 person in 'good fren' category, and 1 is attached liao, den the other dun really got 'feedback'...... so.......... I'll be a happy bachelor, for now. See who will be the 'unlucky' one to land me this fat fish, in a few years time =P

memories........good and bad.........

yesterday, someone from the past sms me, asking me how my leg is recovering... somehow we managed to stray to the past and tok a bit abt it..... bad choice, but I shan't elaborate.

Today went for my physio session. Gosh, the exercise getting tougher n tougher, I was wet with sweat at the end of the session. Then as I was making my way out of TTSH, saw a nurse coming up the escalator. Looks familiar but at that instant, din recall who she is. As I step onto the escalator down, suddenly just remembered that she is my primary school mate, or should be I guess. haha, to be exact, she was my puppy love. Last time like her coz she always tie her hair up in fancy ways, like a little princess. haha, I was a kid only then, dun blame me for liking someone for such a lame reason. Can't even recall which level she was in same class with me, think it was P6? Too lazy to go dig out those class photos now. Can only recall the layout of the classroom. Anyone from Chong Shan Primary School from 1986-1991 reading this, pls leave a comment, you may be my classmate. It was a happy, simple life back den, only had to study and have lots of fun. And I did study and play real hard last time, so unlike of me now.

'silence'................

Haven't have much time nor mood to write these days............ did some serious 'talking' last night, end up being said I was joking.....

A record for my company

30th Dec 2004: Orders for promotional pack was passed down. Nothing has been prepared beforehand as no one knew about the plans for promo pack except the sales manager.

31st Dec 2004: Planning started. Packing materials, stickers, cartons, etc

1st-2nd Jan 2005: Holiday + weekend

3rd Jan 2005: Works on proto-type and inform suppliers

4th Jan 2005: Suppliers came, discuss on proto-type, and bring back samples.

5th Jan 2005: First batch of raw materials in. Work start.

6th Jan 2005: Production all the way, lotsa hands-on job.

7th Jan 2005 3.10pm: All 450 cartons of promo pack completed.

Conclusion: From zero to completion, in 7 working days. Call that efficient =P Therefore, got time then go GiXXX Supermarket check it out, and buy 1 pack at least(sesame oil + garlic oil), coz I also involve in packing them. ;-) Hey! They're limited edition. =P

'surprise'

What do you need at 2am in the morning, feeling moody and so decided to pack your room a bit? An avalanche of my models kits on me........ if you've been to my house before, you'll know my collection is stacked right up to the ceiling, and it came all crashing down on me..... lucky no injuries, or non that I observe, but I had a 'good' time packing till about 4am, missing sleep for my work today.

And a better day at work to have 2 people(including big boss) saying my way of calculating production cost is way too complex for a small biz.... they're right, to some point, but that's what I studied a degree for. Study too much, too complex for a small biz.... keep things simple, and a small biz will forever be a small biz....... Can't be bothered for now, if they want it simple, then I don't need to do anymore calculation, since they already have it. Let's just see how long I stay there....

moody moody

Don't know why, but moody quite a few days liao......

Just now 'eat finish nothing better to do' again, then ask myself: If I lost something 6 years ago, then half a year ago I found it again, but it belongs to someone else already, but that person gave it up after about another 2 months later, giving me a chance to get it back again but I did not go for it, am I stupid? You tell me......

yippee?

She came online right after I post the last post.... very happy I'm talking to her now, but yet there's something beyond description......

...............

haven't seen her online for a week already....... I'm still not contacting her....... starting to worry some guy might have made his move...... but I'm still holding back....... dunno why......... dun ask me.......... sometimes I just dun have the answer myself...........

Another weekend gone......

The first 2 days of the year just went past like that. Basically did nothing, just resting at home, really need it after my knee was terribly painful after 3 days at work. No celebration of the new year, no finding of my friends, nothing... except sending a few smses. Just spent the whole sat repairing the pc. Luckily managed to savage it. My mum was already prepared to buy a new one already. Anyway, this pc has been in use for 6 years already, so no wonders that it has been giving problems every now and then.
Whole of sunday was spent rotting. Woke up at 2pm+, and the rest of the day was spent on tv and food.
Realised I've been on a eating blinge. Ate a lot of things this week. Bought a 1.89L tub of ice-cream on monday and now it's almost 80% empty. I had the most outrageous servings of food in the past few days and I ate all with no complain, and snacking in between meals. Think my weight surely will balloon, haven't gone on the weighing scale yet. I always go on a eating blinge when I'm either feeling down or stressed. Not sure what is the reason for this time round, maybe a combination of both? Don't know, but not in the mood to think now. Hope this coming week will be a better one.

Happy New Year?

Goodbye 2004, hello 2005.
Hope it'll be a better year for everyone around me this year.